It's amazing what a short walk can do for your mood

I left the office for my lunch break in one place (stressed, ruminative, negative), and returned, having taken a half-hour or so walk, in basically the opposite state (relaxed, hopeful, grounded).

Put another way, my mind-state, when I first left the office, was like a tight knot of string. During my walk, the knot loosened bit by bit, until eventually, almost without my realizing it, there was no longer a knot at all -- only string, ready and able to take whatever form came next.

What does "hard work" mean to you?

Serious question:

What does "hard work" mean to you? Given your personal definition of "hard work," is it something that you value?

I'm not sure I know what to think about "hard work" anymore, because I discovered that my working definition of it is unpleasant. To me, work is hard if I'm doing something I really don't like to do, or if the task at hand is boring or silly. "Silly," in this case, means I'm doing some task that should and could be made more efficient, thus minimizing the amount of energy and attention I need to give to it.

If, on the other hand, I'm interested in the work I'm doing, it doesn't seem "hard." It may be challenging or difficult, certainly, but "hard," to me, has a really negative connotation. And now that we're down to brass tacks, I'll say this: given the context in which many folks seem to use the phrase, "hard work," I think it's intended to have a negative connotation. To me, that's frightening and unfortunate.

Why do we believe that work must involve suffering in order for it to be of value?

I'm sure some of you will read that question and protest, "but I don't." Think about it for a minute, though. My guess is that many of you -- myself included -- have internalized the belief that work is a drag, and if it isn't a drag, it's probably because the worker is either A) lucky, or B) lazy. So we trick ourselves into feeling this sort of grim satisfaction if we've really suffered. It's like a badge of honor or something.

I think that's destructive and sad.

When Work is Wearing You Down

I solicited suggestions for topics the other day on Facebook, and somebody recommended that I write a post about work, which I think is a great idea. The person who made the recommendation correctly observed that work, for better or worse, is a huge part of our lives (for most of us).

Aside from the many hours we spend on the job, we also need to account for the time we spend getting ready for the day, traveling to the office, traveling home from the office, and transitioning back into what remains of the rest of the day or evening. That time adds up quickly, especially when you consider that, for many people, that process repeats itself almost ceaselessly until retirement. So it can be said, then, that work costs us our time. Work also costs us money; we dedicate considerable financial resources to work. For example, we spend money on commuting, on our wardrobe, and on feeding ourselves during the work day.

The biggest potential cost of work, though, is on our mind, heart, and spirit.

Whether we like what we do for work or not, we've all had "one of those days." Sometimes, for some people, "one of those days" turns into "one of those" weeks, months, years, and even careers, unfortunately. And it doesn't even have to be so drastic and acute, you know? Dissatisfaction, boredom, and aimlessness in one's work can sneak up on a person, insidiously, until they find themselves thoroughly exhausted by life, and dreading "just another damn day at the office." Viewed in that light, the sardonic worker-bee refrain, "another day, another dollar: and not a penny more" is grim indeed.

I've been there, to be sure -- on the aforementioned journey of acute occupational dissatisfaction, that is. I was miserable with my work; and not so much because of the nature of the work in question, but rather because of the fact that I didn't at that time have an identifiable aim for my professional life. I perceived what I was doing to be nothing more than a means to some meaningless end, and utterly devoid, furthermore, of relevance and importance to my life's mission. It made no sense to me, given the arc of my life, and I dreaded waking up for work in the morning as a result. If that sounds dramatic, that's because it was dramatic.

So, what got me through? For that matter, what gets anyone through occupational despair? I guess I can't definitively answer for everyone, because, well, I'm not everyone. But I suspect that some folks are highly adept at compartmentalizing their lives; i.e., they're able to keep their dissatisfaction with work at work, and go on with the business of enjoying the rest of their lives. If that resonates with you, please know that I'm insanely jealous of, and happy for, you. :) For others, though, and for myself, certainly, a four-letter H-word is the key: hope. I'm not talking about pie-in-the-sky hope, mind you; I'm talking about real hope.

Have you ever wondered why and how such terrible things in our history as, for example, slavery and coal mining gave rise to such rich, amazing, and influential music? To my way of thinking, slaves and miners were horribly oppressed by the nature of their work, and they needed to be lifted up. Moreover, I think their needs for happiness and fulfillment simply refused to die: they fought their ways to the surface, and they emerged in brilliant melody and time signature. The music which these groups of people made, then, was the manifestation and reminder of the spirit -- of the life -- which continued to dwell within them, despite their troubles. And so it goes with all of us, my friends -- that spirit, and that urge to thrive, dwells within us all.

I'm reminded of a Grateful Dead song, called "Cumberland Blues," that nearly always brings me to tears when I hear it. Here some of the lyrics:

Lotta poor man make a five-dollar bill
Keeps him happy all the time
Some other fella's makin' nothin' at all
And you can hear him cry:
"Can I go, buddy? Can I go down?
Take your shift at the mine?"
Gotta get down to the Cumberland Mine (gotta get down to the Cumberland Mine)
That's where I mainly spend my time
Make good money, five dollars a day
Made any more I might move away
Lotta poor man got the Cumberland blues
He can't win for losin'
Lotta poor man got to walk the line
Just to pay his union dues
I don't know now, I just don't know
If I'm going back again
I don't know now, I just don't know
If I'm going back again

(Click here to listen to the song on YouTube)

The rest of the song's lyrics help flesh it out; but to me, it's a workingman's song of desperation, and it's heartbreaking. It's a testament to the bad old days, when coal mining was a much more prevalent occupation than it is now, and even more dangerous. A piece of me wants to give thanks that we've evolved beyond work conditions like coal mining, and like slavery -- but then I wonder...have we? In some ways, many workers are still in some situation or other that amounts to little more than indentured servitude. We work to pay the mortgage(s), or our car loan(s), or our student loan(s), or our credit card(s), etc.

Iron shackles and black lung disease have been replaced by consumer debt and anxiety disorders. To quote Arthur Miller: "Attention must be paid."

What's a worker to do? Most of the time, it isn't feasible, desirable, or advisable to just walk away from these obligations, because, among other reasons, they'll eventually catch back up with us. Sometimes, though, simply walking away is essential. I can't tell you what's best for you. What I can say, though, is that our task is to find real hope, and real satisfaction in our occupational lives. That's a big job in itself, to be sure, and will look vastly different for each person.

For me, I'm finding that the act of pursuing something I truly love -- writing and developing this blog, among other things -- provides me the fulfillment I currently lack in a 9-to-5 job. I hope and trust, even, that I will eventually find my way to paid work that is enriching and sufficiently lucrative. In the meantime, I thrive on the love of what I am doing with this and other writing projects; on the trust that I will continue to give myself the -- what? -- half-hour a day I need to work on these passions; and on the very real hope that it will lead me somewhere interesting.

I urge you to give yourself a little time each day to practice your interests. A word of advice: pay no mind to the outcome for now. Just let yourself do what you enjoy. You'll be surprised what it unlocks within yourself, and you'll be surprised where it leads you.

Thanks.

PS -- On the sidebar of this blog on the right-hand side is a list of websites I like. Check out James Altucher's work. He has written at length about jobs and careers, has a lot of great things to say, and has helped me tremendously.

The Nature of Working with Groups (In a variety of settings)

At a group’s onset, my philosophy is to explore our goals as a group; i.e., to identify group members’ endgame, or to ask, "We have convened here; what issue have we convened to tackle? What is our desired outcome? What is the next step beyond this group? What is the next level that we're all trying to get to?" While individual goals may differ, there will be similarities among the participants that the leader or facilitator can and should invoke; after all, the logic is simple: groups and organizations exist for a specific reason, and if an individual is part of that group or organization, there is an implicit thematic connection between the individual and the group or organization.

The work we all do as individuals, and, by extension, in groups and organizations, does not occur in a vacuum; rather, it is in view of the reality that we humans are all in 'place A' right now, and we will eventually be in 'place B.' In other words, in this life, change is constant, and we are always moving forward. That process is inexorable; but it becomes truly beneficial if and when we consciously recognize and engage it as the paradigm of life-as-evolution, and life-as-process. We are constantly in motion, encountering new information, meeting new people, and occupying never-before-experienced moments in time. All that "newness" represents the opportunity and potential to grow, and to expand into the authenticity of ourselves. We are here to learn, to make ourselves manifest, and to help others do the same.

Once these themes have been explored, we render the work more concrete; to do this, we ask the questions, “Ok, how do we get there (i.e., 'place B')? What do we have to do to get there?” The consideration of these questions becomes the roadmap of the work. It also becomes the lens, or the framework for everything that is discussed in the group, as well as everything that is worked on outside of the group. So, "How is this group member’s issue/participation/process, and how is the reflection and mutual aid that arises from group members’ issues/participation/processes, going to move us toward where we want to go? What can we learn from that setback? What can we take with us from that disagreement between group members?" The meta-themes (represented, again, by questions) are, “How are we going to tap into, and act upon, our deeper values? How are we going to gain access to the leader within ourselves, and, in turn, help others get where they want to go?” We must become curious, we must be willing to externalize our questions, we must be willing to explore, and we must be willing to provide others the supportive space necessary to do the same.

We do our best as humans when we connect our own mission with the missions of other individuals around us, and with the organizations, groups, and systems with which we are connected. Essentially, then, the facilitator's, or leader's, tasks are to invoke the path we are all traveling, and, by virtue of drawing connections between meta-evolution and the work at hand, to help participants along that path. By articulating goals, and bringing the endgame / termination plan into view, the leader brings focus to the work in a very practical sense, and reminds us that we’re here, in this room, for a clear purpose.

This process can apply in any work setting, and to any group. It could pertain to a focus group, a task group, or a therapy group, for example. These are principles, after all, and can be applied as needed; but we are all human beings, and when we convene for a purpose, we can let these principles guide our work.