The B.S. of the "Selfish" Label, or, "Do You!"

It's so darkly hilarious to me that we live in a society which, despite its purported valuing of "the individual" (especially in contrast with some Eastern cultures which purportedly value the collective), is so damn quick to demand conformity, and so damn quick to label non-conformist activities in service of personal fulfillment as "bad," somehow, or "selfish."

What the hell does that even mean? It's stupid, this bandied-about label of selfishness. Its misuse only serves to incite reluctance to take care of one's needs, and yes, to hold one's needs in the highest possible esteem -- and, God forbid, to put one's needs first, A-Numero-Uno, atop one's life priorities list. What's the problem with that? We've got this notion, reinforced by the myriad (ancient) social institutions which thrive on their adherents' subordination, that actions not involving self-sacrifice, subserviance, inattention to self, and even self-shaming, are "bad."

What's wrong with living one's life in freedom from the shackles of putting too much stock in others' opinions about how one OUGHT to live one's life? Nothing. Nothing at all.

Don't get me wrong. I'm no amoralist. We're social creatures, and we live in a society (as I've said before in this blog). We are, therefore, exposed to other's opinions and ways of life, and we will inevitably be strongly influenced by society-at-large. That's fine: it's natural, and it's good. Furthermore, there are certain core, near-universal human-rights-related values to which we have collectively agreed, and to which, therefore, we must adhere. For example, it's not okay to kill someone. It's not okay to steal other people's belongings. It's not okay to physically or psychologically abuse other people. Etc.

That leads me to my real point here. Namely, putting one's needs first, and maintaining a strong moral, socially responsible code of ethics, are NOT mutually exclusive; that is, we don't have to be all in one camp or all in the other. They can, and should, co-exist. Life, of course, requires some degree of sacrifice at times. But to persistently sacrifice one's identity, one's hopes and dreams, and one's senses of happiness, fulfillment, progress, and well-being in service of what other people want/expect/demand/hope of one is harmful -- on the individual and collective levels. It does nobody ANY good whatsoever, and it is, furthermore, madness. It is unnatural.

We are at our best when we feel good about what we're doing on a deep, personal level. We are at our best when we're "doing our thing," as only we know how. And I'll tell you what: if other people disapprove of that, or if they threaten to abandon you or leave you behind because you're daring to reclaim your well-being, then they are clearly on a path which is tangential to yours, and not parallel. Take the reins of your life -- of your life's purpose, as only you understand it -- back. Take back your power. "Do you," as the saying goes. By doing so, you will be freeing yourself to do what you probably hoped to do anyway by sacrificing yourself so fully: helping others along their journeys.

Peace.

More Hamlet; The Dance of Consciousness

The slings and arrows of the external world are nothing in comparison with the demons within. Our beliefs, assumptions of reality, and impressions, all at the subconscious level, give birth to our thoughts, which in turn either soothe or torture us. Our subconscious has a direct influence on the shape and feel of our lives. It tells us what we can and cannot do; it limits us or sets us free. To live the life we want, we must each find a way to allow the dust of our conscious minds to settle -- for who can see clearly through a storm? Indeed, we must allow our conscious minds to settle into the bedrock of our unknowable spirit; and we must trust that our spirit will lead us into the promised land, so to speak, if we do so. And thus, we will become alchemists in our own right, conjuring our consciousness into the form and dance of our spirits.