tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42289907694128990232024-03-18T21:51:40.717-06:00Mental Health for Humans...in service of enlightenment, enrichment, and well-being. Thanks for stopping by!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.comBlogger139125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-51368591013914351842017-04-25T15:35:00.000-06:002017-04-25T15:37:47.142-06:00New postI feel a little numb and confused as I read through some of my old posts. The focus on my life has changed since I created this blog and posted with regularity. I no longer practice as a mental health counselor in any capacity. My interest in the subject has waned. I still notice and parse other people's behavior, and my own, but my thoughts do not linger to solve the puzzles those behaviors present.<br />
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Within a year or so of starting this blog, I decided it was time to move forward in my life, for I felt stuck. I framed this to myself in scholastic terms: While I felt an impulse to explore the possibility of pursuing a doctorate or a JD, which would represent the more traditional path of learning, I chose instead to "get a Ph.D. in life." </div>
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That's a little keen, I'll admit. But it served a purpose: I felt I needed to venture forth into the world as a full participant. I had learned much in graduate school, but my life had also changed drastically, and I felt a deep need to focus my attention on the corporeal — not to turn away from, or to shun or critique, the intensive work I had done in a more cerebral, or psychological, realm, but rather to complete it. </div>
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After all, we live out our lives in the flesh and blood, breathing the air around us, our feet on the ground beneath us — tactile. Earthly matters, or matters of the flesh, if you will, are easy and tempting to shun for those of us who prefer the life interior. But what I learned is that I could never hope to maintain my interior without taking care of matters on the outside. A simple example is my exercise regime, if I can call it that. Never have I felt as grounded in my own skin, and as clear-minded, and as able to access and utilize the various aspects of my persona, as I do now that I exercise regularly. </div>
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There are other examples I could share that center on my work and relationships. The common thread among them is simple: by putting what I have learned and cultivated within myself into practice, I have attained to greater degrees of health, satisfaction, and balance.</div>
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Lately, I have sensed it is time for the onset of yet another era, the theme of which is "taking it to the next level." If I continue to use the school metaphor (which I am), then it feels akin to having recently finished my freshman year and standing on the brink of beginning my studies as a sophomore. I am still new to this journey, but not as green; now, there is a foundation to build upon — one I am expected to build upon, in fact. </div>
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Indeed, the challenge is steeper now, but it is time to meet it. It is time to continue this journey of growth and enlightenment.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-613954473927589072014-09-10T10:12:00.005-06:002014-09-10T10:12:53.019-06:00Link-->"Stop Waiting for Life to Change: How to Feel at Peace Now"I just read an article at Tiny Buddha that I found to be both helpful and straightforward. It is so easy to forget that peace, happiness, and fulfillment come from within.<br />
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I hope you enjoy and derive benefit from the article. (<a href="http://tinybuddha.com/blog/stop-waiting-life-change-feel-peace-now/?utm_content=buffer74fad&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer" target="_blank">Click here to go there now.</a>)<br />
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-NateAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-5369049034062214952014-06-24T08:42:00.000-06:002014-06-24T08:42:01.457-06:00I Couldn't Sleep, and Then...I couldn't sleep, and then out of nowhere, completely devoid of context, like a hot knife through butter, a simple statement emerged from my mouth:<br />
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"Forgive yourself."<br />
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All the angry, restless, relentlessly obsessive thoughts crashed to a halt.<br />
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"Forgive yourself," the voice repeated.<br />
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"Forgive yourself."<br />
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I fell asleep.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-76064690603552888412014-06-06T12:23:00.003-06:002014-06-06T12:24:43.756-06:00Revisiting NGAF<b><i>Be forewarned: if you dislike strong language (cursing), don't read this post.</i></b><br />
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It's a bad habit of mine to amplify and obsess on self-centered negative feelings such as guilt. Often, I take these feelings and blow them way out of proportion until I'm a miserable and less-than-stellar version of myself. Given that it's an emotional sore spot -- or Achilles' Heel, if you will -- I keep an eye on it.<br />
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Despite these efforts, I had been feeling in a bit of a rut recently, such that my self-directed negativity had grown in strength, automation, and persistence. That, and it was compelling; I indulged it with my attention. Not fun.<br />
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Fortunately, experience has taught me that there are a bevy of resources available to help one out of such a rut. One must often make multiple attempts with different resources before one finds the right fit -- a process I usually describe as "throwing macaroni at the wall and seeing what sticks." In my case, the macaroni that stuck recently was revisiting the Honey Badger Philosophy, i.e., How to Not Give a Fuck.<br />
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Let's break it down.<br />
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The objects of obsessive guilt (and resulting self-loathing) are usually rooted in the past, i.e., on things one <u>has done</u>. Given that, it's important to ask and answer a fundamental and grounding question of oneself:<br />
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Q: Is it possible to travel back in time and re-do that moment?<br />
A: No.<br />
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Okay, then. That is a fact. That is the truth.<br />
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Here's where it gets tricky.<br />
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I would argue that it's "good" to feel guilty if you've, say, hurt someone. Guilt draws upon empathy and consideration of other people -- both of which are "good" things in and of themselves. After all, guilt is a feedback system that tells us, "I messed up when I did that. I'm going to do it differently next time. I'm going to apologize and try to make amends."<br />
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Notice, however, that nowhere in that bit of dialogue are the statements, "The fact that I did that thing means that I am completely worthless. I deserve nothing but scorn and disdain for the rest of my days. I hate myself."<br />
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Unfortunately, many of us "go" into that self-loathing inner dialogue when an emotional sore spot, such as guilt, is triggered.<br />
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{Enter NGAF Philosophy}<br />
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Not Giving a Fuck isn't license to suddenly stop feeling guilty -- no way. What it <i>is</i> (in this case), rather, is a reminder to "stay in" Guilty Gully and refrain from indulging the next step into Self Loathing Landing.<br />
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How?<br />
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Not Giving a Fuck reminds me that I am mostly a good person. NGAF reminds me that I am a flawed human being, and bound to make mistakes; and that when I do make mistakes, even big ones, I am allowed to continue to love and respect myself even as I feel righteously guilty and seek to make amends with the ones I've hurt.<br />
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NGAF can be applied to so many situations. I recommend taking it out for a spin.<br />
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Thanks for reading.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-29807800973586959592014-05-28T21:10:00.000-06:002014-05-28T21:10:23.325-06:00An Unexpected Moment of PeacePart of the after-dinner routine is to take our doggie, Willow, out for a bathroom break and a bit of exercise. There's a park behind our development with an open, grassy field, which makes for a perfect site for off-leash fun. There weren't any soccer or softball practices tonight, and so Willow and I went to that empty field so she could run unfettered -- and run she did.<br />
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Willow was tired after several sprints after a good throwing stick, chasing it up and down the field; and so we came to a pause next to the stick after she found it. Willow lay down in the cool grass and commenced an easy, contented gnawing on the stick. I stood there for a moment looking at her and, after noticing a brief but intense flicker of distracted, hurried anxiety from within -- an automatic "we have to get going!" response -- I decided to sit right down in the grass next to her.<br />
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In an instant, and all of a sudden, my world changed.<br />
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I noticed -- no, I <i>saw</i> -- the trees that ring the field. I saw their branches waving gently in the breeze. I saw the clear, muted blue of the evening sky above us. I felt the soft, cool grass underneath, and noticed how comfortable I felt sitting there on it. I felt it in my hands, and gently tugged on a handful of it -- not so hard as to pull it out, but rather to feel its strength and vitality. I breathed. I blinked.<br />
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I noticed I was more or less facing one particular tree across the field. I took in its green deciduous leaves. I traced the space between it and myself. A metaphor occurred to me. An affirmation arose. The tree could be a destination. It is my intention to remain awake and alive for each step of my walk across the field to that tree. Once there, I will acknowledge my journey and my arrival. I will then choose another destination and proceed; or, absent that immediate transition, I will sit at the foot of my new station and wait for a destination to occur to me.<br />
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I laughed easily and quietly.<br />
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Willow lay there, absorbed in her gnawing conquest of the throwing stick. I gave her a few pats on the back, and gently combed out some loose fur with my hands. I watched it flutter away in the breeze.<br />
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For those moments, I was there. I was real, and the world was real.<br />
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We stood up. I gathered the stick, and clipped her leash back onto her collar. We started our walk back home across the field. I found another stick. Willow convinced me to throw it to her a few times. I stashed the sticks in a place where we could easily find them again. For next time. We came home.<br />
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Goodnight, and thank you for reading.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-19279282207256285732014-05-14T21:40:00.002-06:002014-05-14T21:40:43.363-06:00Grateful Today For...It's amazing to me how easy it is to slip into a "blah" mindset. All too often, I get wrapped up in the trials and tribulations of day to day life until they're all I see, i.e., until my struggles of the moment are the only thing I really notice in my life.<br />
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Perspective is so important, and it's always refreshing for me to -- proverbially speaking -- wade back into that pond. It's comforting to remember the fact that my problems are temporary; and it's humbling to remember that we <i>all</i> have our own problems -- and that many folks' problems are far more dire than my own.<br />
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That line of thinking is not intended to be self-effacing. My life is the only one I have, and my problems necessarily affect me. Still, the statement above is a great reminder that I have much in my life for which to be grateful, even if these things aren't readily apparent.<br />
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I have a mind, after all, and can think. So here goes nothing: here's what I'm grateful for today.<br />
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-My job. I have a fascinating, challenging job that often puts me in contact with all sorts of interesting people.<br />
-My job (again). I earn a steady income, which enables me to take care of my basic needs of food, shelter, and clothing, as well as a number of additional needs/wants.<br />
-This Chromebook, and the Internet. It is only during the past 20 or so years that human beings, en masse, have had means to instantly broadcast their thoughts, ideas, and opinions for all the world to see. I find that exercise deeply satisfying, and I do not wish to take it for granted; thus, I am grateful.<br />
-My tattoos. They remind me that there is more to me than meets the eye, which is a reminder I need to give myself periodically.<br />
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Thanks for reading.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-21057964415357268672014-05-09T06:24:00.001-06:002014-05-09T06:24:43.881-06:00GratefulToday, I am grateful for:<br />
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-Indoor plumbing<br />
-Shelter from the elements<br />
-My car<br />
-A livelihood<br />
-Having access to this technology, i.e., the ability to share my thoughts with the world (easily, and for free!)<br />
-This t-shirt (my friend gave it to me)<br />
-Being awake to see the early morning sunshineAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-91419047056322498302014-04-17T09:08:00.002-06:002014-04-17T09:08:36.802-06:00What I'm Working on TodayToday, my intention is to stay present. I notice that my attention often follows my thoughts, and that I otherwise retreat inward. And so today, I am revisiting mindfulness; I am revisiting the experience of consciously occupying the present moment.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-40334815546524112842014-04-13T16:41:00.001-06:002014-04-13T16:41:28.541-06:00Fear About New Things<div>
Over the past week or two, I've found myself grappling with a question. Actually, it's a few questions (are you surprised?). I can't really state them concisely, because they're existential. Suffice to say they concern my career, and my beliefs about myself and the part I am meant to play in this lifetime.</div>
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These are big questions. And yet, their answer symbolically hinges on a series of comparatively minor decisions I will soon make about taking a few classes. </div>
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So what's the big deal? Well, I'm afraid. Irrational though it may be, I'm afraid that pursuing a new education could take me away from myself. I'm afraid that it's incompatible with my self-concept, my strengths, and even my old senses of right/wrong, good/bad, selfless/selfish, etc.</div>
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I may be right: the new education may be incompatible with those things. The problem is, I can't help but feel an interest in this new pursuit. It's intriguing to me. </div>
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So maybe this is another step, you know? The processes of growth, change, and exploration quite necessarily require one to venture into previously unexplored territory. I suppose that's what this is.</div>
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What a fascinating and humble lesson this is. I think I fancy myself an old pro at being able to handle change, and to accept new challenges, ideas, and realities; and yet now, presented with a new endeavor, I quake. </div>
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Fear is a powerful force! For my part, in this situation, I think the thing to do is acknowledge it, account for it and its effect on me, and, ultimately, ignore it.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-24153594212806059642014-03-23T12:55:00.003-06:002014-03-23T12:56:44.446-06:00Link: "Identifying with Social Groups Helps Clinically Depressed Patients Recover"<a href="http://www.psypost.org/2014/03/identifying-with-social-groups-helps-clinically-depressed-patients-recover-23890?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter" target="_blank">This is a good, quick read </a>that makes a lot of sense.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-47622916282013208132014-03-18T08:30:00.003-06:002014-03-18T08:30:27.498-06:00Link: "3 Keys to Being Happy, No Matter What Happens"<a href="http://tinybuddha.com/blog/3-keys-happy-matter-happens/" target="_blank">Click here</a> for an uplifting, concise article by MW de Jesus at TinyBuddha.com. de Jesus outlines three straightforward, do-able steps to fostering real well-being. Enjoy!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-79538689691022524592014-03-17T08:31:00.001-06:002014-03-17T08:31:26.558-06:00Link: "Becoming Emotionally Self-Reliant"<a href="http://zenhabits.net/self-reliance/" target="_blank">This is a great article</a> from Leo Babauta at zenhabits.net. Enjoy!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-38855534755199535322014-02-18T14:46:00.001-07:002014-02-18T14:47:06.520-07:00Waiting on Pet PeevesI think most of us probably have at least a few "pet peeves." You know, those things that...just...get...under...your...skin and drive you up a wall.<br />
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One of my pet peeves is when I have to wait because of technology. It drives me nuts. For example, I get really annoyed when a computer I'm working on suddenly freezes up, even if it's only for five or ten seconds. Or, if my phone crashes, or is simply unresponsive for a few seconds. Or, if the batteries run out of my cordless mouse at work.<br />
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Those things might seem petty. Actually, they ARE petty -- none of those things is a Big Deal, but they annoy the crap out of me nonetheless.<br />
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On one hand, the fact that I get annoyed about certain inconsequential things is not a big deal. As I mentioned, I think most of us probably have our list of otherwise silly little things that tick us off. On the other hand, I feel like it's a pretty big waste of my energy to get all upset over these things. Aside from that, I don't do anything good for myself by letting those annoyances get the best of me: I'm pretty sure my blood pressure goes up, cortisol is released into my bloodstream, and my bad habit of getting angry gets reinforced. And to top it all off, it's really unpleasant for those around me.<br />
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Thus, I've decided it's something I can pay some attention to -- I can work to change my response to these annoyances.<br />
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My back is bothering me, and so I'm working from home today on my laptop, which is a few years old. It hadn't been booted up in a week or so, and it took some time to finish configuring, because <i>oh yeah, I forgot it had to install those Windows updates</i>, and then it did this weird loop back into reconfiguring itself, and then...I could feel myself getting pissed off about it: <i>THIS IS SO ANNOYING!!</i><br />
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Then I noticed myself having that response, and it was like letting air out of an overly full balloon. Instant relaxation. Then, on cue, a simple thought passed through my mind: "Maybe try just sitting and waiting for the computer to finish doing what it needs to do."<br />
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So I did. I folded my hands and waited. That was it. There was no anger, no frustration...just...waiting. It was strange to feel the absence of anger in the face of such a familiar, negative stimulus, but there I was. I had freed myself from my self-imposed prison of anger.<br />
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I know I'll have to focus on letting myself out of prison over and over again before it becomes second nature, but I'll get there. And for the time being, anyway, it was progress!<br />
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And progress felt great.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-55695808730040221052014-02-13T13:21:00.000-07:002014-02-13T13:29:28.166-07:00It's amazing what a short walk can do for your moodI left the office for my lunch break in one place (stressed, ruminative, negative), and returned, having taken a half-hour or so walk, in basically the opposite state (relaxed, hopeful, grounded).<br />
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Put another way, my mind-state, when I first left the office, was like a tight knot of string. During my walk, the knot loosened bit by bit, until eventually, almost without my realizing it, there was no longer a knot at all -- only string, ready and able to take whatever form came next.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-74196706199567637632014-02-12T20:12:00.001-07:002014-02-12T20:12:27.615-07:00What I Love to DoRight now, at this moment, I'm struggling with the byproducts of stress. What that means for me is my mind is flooded with thoughts; after all, I'm a thinker -- it's one of the things I do well. It's natural for me, then, for my stress to manifest that way.<br />
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It's a problem, however, because when my mind is flooded with thoughts, all sorts of "bummer" side effects tend to follow. I have a harder-than-normal time staying focused on a task or conversation, which makes day-to-day interactions and duties feel extremely burdensome. As a result of that, I tend to withdraw, which, while intuitive to me, is highly counterproductive; for when I withdraw, I am left alone with -- you guessed it -- my roiling thoughts.<br />
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Even writing this is a chore. (Reading it might feel like a chore right now, too!)<br />
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At any rate, I'd been really amped up about some work stuff, and in the aftermath of said stuff, I found myself thinking about my goals and vision for my life; I also found myself thinking about my <i>purpose</i>. It was a very post-modern discussion with myself, which was both exhausting and counterproductive (my love-hate relationship with post-modern critical analysis is a different topic -- read: Pandora's Box -- altogether).<br />
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What I came here to write, then, was something simple, namely, to address the question: what do I LOVE to do?<br />
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-I love it when I find the tipping point in a conversation or train of thought, or when I bear witness to, or participate in, a breakthrough. It doesn't matter if they're big or small moments, incidentally -- I love 'em either way. This "what do I LOVE to do?" question was one such "ah-ha!" moment, for example.<br />
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-I love it when I identify a solid working metaphor that helps illuminate a problem, idea, theory, or process for myself or another person. For example, I've used baseball as a metaphor -- a vehicle, really -- for lots of problems, processes, etc. in my life. And it doesn't need to be a formal metaphor, incidentally -- it can really just be any instance of successfully and appropriately applying one set of rules and circumstances and ideas to another for the sake of illumination and furthered understanding.<br />
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-I love to manage money when I'm operating with a clear or semi-clear vision of what my goals and/or endgame are. I love it. I also love thinking about managing money, and, really, money in general. I love visualizing cash flow models; I love visualizing and dreaming up models for generating increased cash flow, and visualizing the factors and variables that detract from cash flow.<br />
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-I love achieving deeper understanding of things I find interesting.<br />
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-I love speaking to groups and crowds of people about ideas.<br />
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-I love facilitating conversations among people about pretty much anything.<br />
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-I love digging into new and unconventional ways of doing things -- I love moving past, through, and around conventional wisdom.<br />
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-I love the New York Mets. I love baseball. I love consuming information about the New York Mets and baseball.<br />
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-I love to sit and read.<br />
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-I love to listen to really good speeches, or conversations, or podcasts (hello, Radiolab!). Similarly, I love to watch really well-written, acted, and produced movies, TV shows, and theatrical productions.<br />
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-I love to listen to really good and interesting music. (Totally subjective, of course, but we're talking about me here.)<br />
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-Other things.<br />
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I think there's real value in articulating these sorts of things to oneself. To my way of thinking, they make up some of the most important "stuff" of personhood. And besides -- going through this list has been a huge boost. My mind is clear, my mood is lifted, and I'm "unstuck." Sweet.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-51558066442136762232014-01-17T14:28:00.003-07:002014-01-17T14:28:55.816-07:00Link: "The Difference Between Setting Boundaries and Shutting People Out"The title of the article describes its content very well, so I'll just say it's excellent, and well worth a read. Thanks to Tiny Buddha and author Holly Hurban. <a href="http://tinybuddha.com/blog/difference-between-setting-boundaries-and-shutting-people-out/" target="_blank">Click here to check it out. </a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-57894400780038071832014-01-15T08:46:00.000-07:002014-01-15T08:46:19.337-07:00Tiny Buddha Published One of My Articles!I am delighted to share that Tiny Buddha (www.tinybuddha.com) published one of my articles yesterday. What a thrill! If you aren't familiar with Tiny Buddha, I highly, highly recommend it -- add it to your bookmarks, RSS feed, etc. It's chock full of excellent writing and invaluable insight. I'm honored and humbled to have had one of my articles published in that space.<br />
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I hope you enjoy it! Click the title below to check it out:<br />
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<a href="http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-we-can-reduce-our-suffering-by-feeling-uncomfortable-feelings/" target="_blank">"How We Can Reduce Our Suffering by Feeling Uncomfortable Feelings"</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-85217246542022978352014-01-02T09:25:00.000-07:002014-01-02T09:25:38.371-07:00Yeah!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOC3ZoDmW5Cg3Qdu5nmBGUToaET_o6j9TQMnL2FHfnQ3IkHbOxVkg24mb2yvNxCjHJzm72Q7U9-LWb4B8zZwJwXUYCLi1lPB0021xSdlDFqyJCnB49hg27ZCWq63ztjQMbK3x-qZzA5Ipb/s1600/http%253A%252F%252F24.media.tumblr.com%252F323c5f5e5a1ce212f14cd4ca9f59baa5%252Ftumblr_my4z4yZmPv1skq56co1_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOC3ZoDmW5Cg3Qdu5nmBGUToaET_o6j9TQMnL2FHfnQ3IkHbOxVkg24mb2yvNxCjHJzm72Q7U9-LWb4B8zZwJwXUYCLi1lPB0021xSdlDFqyJCnB49hg27ZCWq63ztjQMbK3x-qZzA5Ipb/s320/http%253A%252F%252F24.media.tumblr.com%252F323c5f5e5a1ce212f14cd4ca9f59baa5%252Ftumblr_my4z4yZmPv1skq56co1_400.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(I found this image on a Tumblr blog, but I believe the image originated at joycemeyer.org)</span></div>
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I love that quote. I love the image, too. Something about it all just resonates with me. It's a simple truth, captured by a simple image.</div>
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My initial response to this image, aside from downloading it, was to think, "Yeah. I need to be careful about letting my ego get in the way of accomplishing what I want to accomplish." That isn't quite as succinct as the quote and image above, is it? No, it isn't. Follow along anyway.</div>
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Think about what I just said from the plant's perspective. The plant sprouts from a seed and starts to grow. It does what it knows it's supposed to do: grow in an UPWARD direction. It expects to keep doing that, and knows it to be correct.</div>
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But suddenly it can't grow UPWARD any longer. Something is in its way. </div>
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Think about arriving at that juncture in your own life. There's this thing you know you're supposed to do or accomplish. You're passionate about it; you feel it in your bones; you might even sense it as a calling. </div>
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And then factors entirely out of your control come to bear on the situation, and things get complicated.</div>
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In such a situation, it's natural to feel frustrated, disappointed, angry, etc. After all, things aren't working out like you thought and felt they would. Your ego -- the piece of you that processes, mediates, and interprets your experiences in the world -- is working overtime, trying to make sense of this terrible injustice. <i>This is unfair.</i></div>
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I'll bet you see where this is headed. It probably feels a little cheesy, like we're watching the movie "Rudy" or something. The thing is, though, it's true. </div>
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The plant in that image had a decision to make. It could go on raging against that unmovable rock. Or it could just stop. Either way, it wouldn't get anywhere, even though its purpose is to reach the sun. In either case, the plant would become increasingly stressed, and eventually wither and die.</div>
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Or, it could do what it did: hold onto its purpose (to get to the sun), make a critical change (grow sideways), and resume growing UPWARD when the coast is clear.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-85911671663437480982013-12-16T17:17:00.001-07:002013-12-16T17:22:32.272-07:00Link: "12 Tools for More Mindful Living"<a href="http://www.fastcompany.com/3023459/how-to-be-a-success-at-everything/12-tools-for-more-mindful-living" target="_blank">This is a great article</a>. Big recommendation!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-13977999912563225662013-11-21T13:07:00.003-07:002013-11-21T13:07:53.904-07:00Albert Ellis Quote<div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 15.454545021057129px;">"Show yourself that your very Belief, “I can’t accomplish this! “I’ll never be able to do so!” is often a self-fulfilling prophecy that will encourage you prematurely to give up and to “prove” that you can’t. Don’t act like many people who derive grim satisfaction from “successfully” predicting their failures!"</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-14914946604806248722013-11-08T15:02:00.000-07:002013-11-08T15:02:51.945-07:00Inspiration from the PopePope Francis recently made the news with <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2013/11/07/world/europe/pope-francis-embrace/" target="_blank">a very public act of compassion</a>. In the course of reading about it, I encountered a series of Papal Tweets, one of which was particularly moving to me:<br />
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True power is service. The Pope must serve all people, especially the poor, the weak, the vulnerable.<br />
— Pope Francis (@Pontifex) <a href="https://twitter.com/Pontifex/statuses/313971233676992512">March 19, 2013</a></blockquote>
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I was stunned by that Tweet. I still am. It's so profound in its simplicity and truth; and yet, in view of the rather lofty, almost royal nature of the Papacy itself, it is nearly incomprehensible. Put another way, the Pope is one of the most powerful people on Earth, and powerful people usually do not associate with "the poor, the weak, the vulnerable."<br />
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And yet, Pope Francis up and declared that association to be a mandate of his Office. Indeed, he declared the nature of that association to be one of servitude -- whereby <i>he </i>is the servant.<br />
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Wow.<br />
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I meditated on these thoughts as I took my doggie for a stroll around the neighborhood. I wondered, "What does it mean to serve? What does it mean to do for others? What does it mean to help, and to demonstrate compassion? Is it necessary for us to perform our deeds of service on a grand scale? Must our deeds of service have widespread, notorious impact, on par with a Pope's, in order to be of real value?"<br />
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To those last couple of questions, I thought, "Well, no."<br />
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The Pope literally embraced a man from whom most would shrink away in disgust or astonishment. He embraced that man as an equal and shared a moment of compassionate supplication with him.<br />
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In so doing those things, Pope Francis lifted the spirits of a person who suffers an obvious burden -- and who is likely shunned in a variety of ways because of his burden. And in so doing <i>that</i>, Pope Francis reminded everyone who bore witness that we are <i>all </i>worthy of respect, compassion, and love<i>. </i><br />
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Francis' simple embrace has resonated with so many people because of the basic fact that we all suffer. Many of our burdens are hidden, or largely invisible to others, but they are there. Each of us, I would argue, longs for unconditional acceptance, compassion, and love, even in view of our flaws; and Francis' embrace reminded us that we are very capable of giving (and receiving) such acceptance, compassion, and love.<br />
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On the most basic level, I recall that this all begins with my approach to myself: it begins with my compassion for myself in view of <u>my own</u> suffering. The more I treat myself with compassion, love, and self-respect, the more I emulate those qualities to others.<br />
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Be a beacon.<br />
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Thanks for reading.<br />
<script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-26431337604637726912013-11-01T12:43:00.001-06:002013-11-01T12:43:07.099-06:00What does "hard work" mean to you?Serious question:<br />
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What does "hard work" mean to you? Given your personal definition of "hard work," is it something that you value?<br />
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I'm not sure I know what to think about "hard work" anymore, because I discovered that my working definition of it is unpleasant. To me, work is hard if I'm doing something I really don't like to do, or if the task at hand is boring or silly. "Silly," in this case, means I'm doing some task that should and could be made more efficient, thus minimizing the amount of energy and attention I need to give to it.<br />
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If, on the other hand, I'm interested in the work I'm doing, it doesn't seem "hard." It may be challenging or difficult, certainly, but "hard," to me, has a really negative connotation. And now that we're down to brass tacks, I'll say this: given the context in which many folks seem to use the phrase, "hard work," I think it's intended to have a negative connotation. To me, that's frightening and unfortunate.<br />
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Why do we believe that work must involve suffering in order for it to be of value?<br />
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I'm sure some of you will read that question and protest, "but I don't." Think about it for a minute, though. My guess is that many of you -- myself included -- have internalized the belief that work is a drag, and if it isn't a drag, it's probably because the worker is either A) lucky, or B) lazy. So we trick ourselves into feeling this sort of grim satisfaction if we've really suffered. It's like a badge of honor or something.<br />
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I think that's destructive and sad.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-76532111956630462422013-10-28T20:55:00.001-06:002013-10-31T11:30:07.679-06:00ReckoningThings have changed for me. I'm writing this post from a quieter place than I have in the past. When I started this blog, I was spilling over with things to say and explore in the realm of mental health. I'm glad I recognized and honored that need, and I'm proud of the work I've done here. But I'm in a different place now.<br />
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I'll say this, for starters: I am not in a "bad" place. I've been in "bad" places before, and I can say with certainty that this is not one of them. Things <u>are</u> different, though. It's hard to explain, but something imperceptible within myself, something as-yet unnamed somewhere within my psyche -- call it intuition, call it wisdom, call it my soul -- has awakened; and with that awakening, if you will, has come the knowledge, and the conviction, that I have entered a new stage of life.</div>
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I detect that it is time for me to attend more fully to living in this world, if that makes sense. I've been very focused on, and immersed in, very heady and nuanced matters for a long, long time. It feels as though I've been wandering through a forest, if you will; I've been wandering through a deep, sometimes dark, often beautiful, and mysteriously nuanced forest for the past 15 or so years, by my calculations. And quite suddenly, I'm in more of a grove, and there's a path that leads out of the grove. </div>
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Put another way, it feels as though I've completed a necessary task. I succeeded perfectly, in that I experienced exactly what I was called upon to experience. Every misstep, every banal moment of avoidance or idle silliness, and every tragedy, torment, and triumph was completely necessary. I experienced exactly what I must have experienced in order to bring me to this present moment, which, I trust, is precisely where I need to be. And you know what? Even if I'm wrong about that last point -- if I'm horribly off course -- then there isn't anything I can do about what's happened up 'till now. If nothing else, then, I've learned what it feels like to truly <i>accept</i>, which, I suspect, is no small feat.</div>
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I can't help but feel some sadness at this inflection point. It is the sadness of mourning. I have lost much, and have been obliged to thoroughly reorient my life on a number of occasions. Now, let me say, very clearly, that I chose those things. My sadness is not the sadness of one who believes oneself to be a victim of circumstance: no. I chose my life's meandering path, and participated fully (or, at times, incompletely) in it. I own that; but that does not preclude me from feeling sadness, nor does that strip me of my right to feel sadness. </div>
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I digress.</div>
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What's next? I don't know. What I <i>do </i>know is that it's time for the rubber to hit the road, so to speak. It's time for me to <i>apply</i> all the lessons I've learned, and all the skills I've gleaned, bit by bit, and step by step. My Spidey Sense tells me I'm in a good place: I feel a day-to-day consonance that I have only fleetingly felt before. </div>
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The other day, I recorded some of my thoughts for my personal benefit, as I am wont to do. I spontaneously spat out a metaphor that rung true to me at the time, and that reoccurs to me now: if one's inner world is a symphony, it is incumbent upon one to assemble the external pieces of the orchestra that will play in the same key as one's symphony. That is to say that I must choose, where I may choose, circumstances that reflect, and are in harmony with, my inner life. The circumstances I assemble will, in turn, influence and modulate the symphony of my heart, mind, and soul. In this manner, then, do I dance with life.</div>
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That all being said, this point of inflection transcends any circumstantial flotsam and jetsam (not to make light of circumstances). Far, far below the surface, and far, far below the depths, and far, far above the stars, is a quiet, conscious sanctuary, the scope and might and simple beauty of which I have only begun to grasp. What I <i>have</i> perceived, however, is that the nature of this place, in part, is in its constancy: it is ever-present. It abides all. It transcends any circumstance. It is my touchstone. It is my wisdom, my self-knowledge, my clarity. It is my sanctuary. </div>
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And so, as I journey forth into the world as never before -- more fully cloaked, and more fully vulnerable -- do I simultaneously deepen my roots within myself.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-37218711571226055082013-10-15T20:09:00.002-06:002013-10-15T20:09:35.675-06:00Response to Facebook's QuestionFacebook asks me, "What have you been up to?" which I find to be most apt at this time. Well, Facebook, I've been working in a new job, and I've been going about the business of opening a new chapter of my life. It's an as-yet undefined chapter, but that's okay. I do know that there's been a shift in my consciousness, and that I detect within me a strong, even concrete, sense that my task now is to integrate all I have pondered, learned, and preached into my daily life. In other words, I am now to go about the business of living. I am frightened and uncertain, but I am open and willing and ready.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228990769412899023.post-83604184180197114642013-08-08T14:43:00.001-06:002013-08-08T14:44:26.802-06:00Link: Dealing with Dark Days: Help for When You Don’t Feel Your Best<a href="http://tinybuddha.com/blog/dealing-with-dark-days-help-for-when-you-dont-feel-your-best/">Dealing with Dark Days: Help for When You Don’t Feel Your Best</a><br />
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This is an excellent article, in my opinion. I recommend reading it!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16296703354551873316noreply@blogger.com0